he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
