Just took my morning after pill in the library
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
