To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We need to get me chipped asap
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
