shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
