forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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