Who wears a wallet chain?!
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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