i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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