She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I have post one night stand depression
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize