I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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