dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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