Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
