hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
