i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
