someone get that fucking seahorse.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
