screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
