so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
how do flat chested girls get laid?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
