I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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