i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
