Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
