Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
