never play flip cup with pint glasses
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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