what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
