just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
