do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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