You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I could fuck to npr.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
