Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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