i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
