I think I died a long time ago.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
