no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
