happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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