You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
