check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
