I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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