In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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