I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
