What a fucking waste of an outfit
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
