Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize