He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
