Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
