I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
