If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
