Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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