I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
