I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
