dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
