shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I would ride that face into the sunset
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
