wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just got carded by a ten year old.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
