Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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