I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
