My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
