Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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