Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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