I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
