can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
