things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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