I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
