I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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